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Rankings System

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Our Ratings System Explained

Our beers are first organized into three broader categories according to their general price, and then rated according to a 5 star system. Here is an overview of what our ranking system stands for.


0 Star Rating – This is an utter swill of a beer. Avoid these like the plague; they aren’t fit for human consumption.

→ You Might Consider Drinking This Beer When. . .

  • Never. You’re better off saving your money and/or pouring these down the drain.


1 Star Rating– This is a beer of last resort. You wouldn’t want to pay money for one these, but they are tolerable enough to drink without throwing up on contact . . . although you might wish you did the day after.

→ You Might Consider Drinking This Beer When. . .

  • You absolutely, positively must have a beer, and that bottle of Milwaukee Best is the only thing around. May god have mercy on your soul.

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2 Star Rating– This is a beer of duress. While you should try and keep away from these where possible, they’re still drinkable and warrant purchasing when circumstances demand.

→ You Might Consider Drinking This Beer When. . .

  • It’s 100 degrees out and just about any cold beer seems like manna from heaven.

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3 Star Rating– This is a decent brew. Not exactly your beer of first choice, these are nevertheless fairly enjoyable beers that merit purchasing in a pinch.

→ You Might Consider Drinking This Beer When. . .

  • You’re out on the town with your friends and all they have on tap is Carlsberg and Miller High Life. Bottoms up.

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3½ Star Rating– This is already a quality brew. One of these beers might be a regular purchase for you, or perhaps just an occasional indulgence. Either way, you’d happily drink a couple of these with no regrets.

→ You Might Consider Drinking This Beer When. . .

  • Stopping by the liquour store to pick up some beers for a pal’s barbecue or house party? Looking to try something a little more “adult” than Bud or Coors Light? You can’t go wrong with one of these brews.

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4 Star Rating– This is a superior beer. These possess some identifiable characteristic distinguishing them as brews of a higher quality.

→ You Might Consider Drinking This Beer When. . .

  • You feel like expanding your horizons and trying something slightly different, or maybe you’re in the mood to indulge in a beer with a little more character and flavor. Either way, these are the brews for you.

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4½ Star Rating- This is a standout beer. Ranking at the top of their class, these marquee brews are a cut above the rest.

→ You Might Consider Drinking This Beer When. . .

  • This is an impressive and possibly quite pricey beer that you’d really want to enjoy while consuming. Best to look elsewhere if you’re in need of a quick drink.

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5 Star Rating– This is a world class beer. Amongst the best of the best. Anywhere.

→ You Might Consider Drinking This Beer When. . .

  • Always. You should feel privileged to sample one of these gems. And most likely, you’ll need be privileged as these brews can leave a serious dent in your wallet.

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